The CulDeSac Wars
by gameboyguy
Summary: When yet another scam goes wrong, the Cul-De-Sac kids decides enough is enough. Now, Ed, Edd, and Eddy must battle for survival and defeat the kids.
1. Chapter 1

Cul-De-Sac Wars

**(I **do not own Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Cartoon Network does. Also, BPS never happened in this story.)

It was a peaceful day in the Cul-De-Sac. Kevin was on a date with Nazz (FINALLY!), Rolf was working, Johnny was playing with his best friend, a wooden board named Plank, and Sarah and Jimmy were playing with their dolls. All was well. Things were going even greater because the kids' parents went on a long vacation. Apparently, the chaos that was happening in the Cul-De-Sac was just too much, and the parents weren't coming back for 6 months. Ever since then, things were peaceful, until…

"TRY THE ED'S NEW GAME! MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN THE GAME!" Eddy screamed. He, and his friends, Ed and Edd (AKA Double-D), were trying a new scam. It was a video game, but not just any video game. It was apparently virtual reality, something game developers have been dreaming to do for years.

"Really, Eddy," Double-D started. "If the great developers can't make a virtual reality game, what makes you think that we, children, can make one?"

"You mean…" Ed said in surprise. "I can't be in 'Gravy, the video game'"?

"N-no Ed," Double-D stammered. "What I meant was…"

"WAHHHHH!" Ed screamed. "Gravy."

"Shut up, Monobrow." Eddy said harshly. "We have customers coming!"

"Far out!" Johnny exclaimed. "It's 'Gravy, the video game'! Isn't that cool, Plank?"

Plank smiled.

"I'll play", Kevin said. "Just to show Nazz how much this is on the Dork-o-meter."  
"This ought to be good…", Nazz said, as she looked at the booth.

"Rolf wonders if this game is as bad as the scams the Ed-boys already made", Rolf said.

"This is stupid, like the Eds", Sarah snickered.

"I'm scared, Sarah…", Jimmy said.

Nevertheless, Jimmy, along with the other kids, put a quarter in Eddy's jar.

"I'm gonna be rich!" Eddy snickered.

However, it seemed as if he spoke too soon, as when each kid put on a helmet, the most random thing happened.

Everything part of the scam exploded.

"…..What…the…heck…" Eddy said as he stared at the debris.

"OH DEAR!" Double-D exclaimed. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW SOMETHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN! Although I thought it would Spontaneously Combust…."

"Cool", Ed said stupidly.

After the smoke cleared, the Eds saw that the kids were covered in soot.

"…NO REFUNDS!" Eddy exclaimed.

There was no response. Instead, the kids just turned away.

"Well, that's convenient." Eddy said.

"EDDY!" Double-D exclaimed. "How DARE you?! Do you even feel guilty?!"

"….Nope!" Eddy said with a smirk.

Double-D sighed. He should've known better. However, his mind was on something. Why didn't the kids beat them up like usual? What happened?

"Cheese", Ed said stupidly.

"I've had ENOUGH!" Nazz yelled. "THOSE EDS MAKE OUR LIVES MISERABLE!"

Everyone agreed.

"Rolf thinks we should get rid of them!" Rolf suggested.

"But how?" Jimmy asked.

"I got an idea…" Kevin said with a grin.

"What is it, Kevin?" Sarah asked.

Kevin told his idea, and as he did, everyone was smiling evilly.

"So everyone is going with my idea?" Kevin asked.

Everyone said yes.

"Good…then we're off to get rid of the Dork Patrol…" Kevin whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

(I don't own Mega Man either, you know.)

"Eddy, you need to apologize to everyone that paid for your silly scam!" Double-D scolded.

"Geez, Sockhead, it was just another scam…" Eddy muttered. "And besides, I got all of us jawbreakers!" and Eddy sucked on his jawbreaker.

"Yum", Ed said, as he sucked on his jawbreaker. Double-D, however, wouldn't touch it.

"Eddy, I won't talk to you until you apologize to the kids!" Double-D said.

"Yeah right…" Eddy said.

Double-D was serious. He stalked off without saying a word to Eddy.

"Are you coming, Ed?" Double-D called.

"Gravy", Ed said stupidly.

"Figures you'd say something so idiotic…" Double-D sighed.

Ed glared at Double-D. "What's that supposed to mean?" Ed asked.

"Well, no offense Ed," Double-D started. "But I honestly think you have the I.Q. of a spec of dirt."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're calling me STUPID!" Ed yelled.

"He IS saying you're stupid, stupid!" Eddy said with a smirk.

"Oh, shut up. JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!" Ed yelled at Eddy.

"Wow…that was SOOOOO mean!" Eddy said sarcastically.

"GO DIE IN A DICTH, EDDY!" Double-D exclaimed.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, SOCKHEAD?!" Eddy yelled.

"I SAID GO DIE IN A DITCH, YOU DEVIL!" Double-D yelled.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MEANIE!" Ed yelled.

"SHUT UP!" Eddy yelled. "AND WHAT KIND OF INSULT IS 'MEANIE?!'"

"DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, EDDY!" Ed yelled.

"YOU COULDN'T KILL ANYONE IF THEY HELD UP A SIGN SAYING "Kill me"!!!!" Double-D screamed.

Eddy spit his jawbreaker at Double-D, and Ed spit his at Eddy. And that's what did it. Eddy punched Ed in the gut and Ed went through 5 trees. Double-D kicked Eddy and Eddy coughed up blood. Eddy was about to punch Double-D when Ed came and head-butted both of them. They all got in a huge combat and blood and scratches were all over them. And then they all punched each other, and they went flying in opposite directions.

MEANWHILE…

"Whoa…." A robot in blue said. "It's a good thing I'm accompanying on his research trip to this Cul-De-Sac…I better report this to him!" and he teleported somewhere…

MEANWHILE, WITH ED….

"Ow, my gravy…" Ed muttered. "Hey….where am I?" He looked around, and there was wood everywhere! Even the ground was wood. Ed's eyes then widened in horror. "It CAN'T be…"

It was where Ed used to live. Before Sarah was born, when Ed was 3 years old, he used to live here, and everything was beautiful. However, now that he was back, things changed, and everything was wooden.  
"So, you've finally arrived…" a mysterious voice said.

"WHO'S THERE?!" Ed yelled. He looked behind him, and when he did, he stared in horror. "Y-you?!" He was then knocked out and put into a bag, being dragged to a little warehouse.


End file.
